Most people don’t change until they have to. And even then, I’ve seen people carry on with their suffering as if it is some background noise. I wonder if we just aren’t as motivated to create change until things get bad enough that it becomes the only option.
I don’t believe that people resist change because they necessarily enjoy the version of life they have, it’s just that initiating fundamental change – and being changed – requires us to objectively look at our knots and the stories we tell ourselves. That’s the part that suuuuuucks – no need for another word. People resist change because they don’t want to acknowledging their inner conflict.
I know people who manufacture conflict into their lives. They just cannot seem to avoid it. They don’t know peace if chaos is not somehow involved. They become a prisoner to their perceptions, which form their habits, vision, purpose, their thoughts about ourselves, and our thoughts about others.
Being changed means taking accountability for the things you do and the person you are allowing yourself to become. There are people who do whatever they can to be as far away from themselves as possible. Their psyche’s are littered with emotional garbage and spiritual rot. It is so much easier to shift blame and point fingers and fight like hell to convince yourself that who you are is not your fault. What we avoid facing will quietly control us.
Instead of freshly observing the reality we have before our eyes, it is more convenient and desirable to create an idealized version of reality that agrees with us. We love hearing things that make us feel better and validate our own perspectives. You face a lot of hard truths when you let go of people, places, and experiences that enabled you to live as someone you don’t actually align with.
To be changed is to lose a version of yourself you got very comfortable being. The resting spot you found used to be comfortable, attractive, and safe. Now it’s decaying, rotting with you in it. The journey ahead, although uncertain, becomes the only way. This is not easy. It’s terribly difficult and equally as painful.
As you begin to see more of the systems that operate within you, the more you understand the pressures that influence others. We are never alone in the ways in which we operate. Everyone around us is working off their own internal structures, which can help harvest a sense of compassion and forgiveness, especially as you grow from people.
It is a choice to continue developing our awareness and understanding of how our actions influence external forces. It’s crucial to identify the feedback from our actions to witness the connectedness to the world. Life doesn’t happen to us, it is happening throw us and from us.
I would love to hear your experiences while walking and shaping your path. Let’s connect.
Lyra Wiley 
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