power in the pause

Like most people, I struggle finding anything valiant in pausing. There’s nothing productive about resting, and pausing means you’re behind someone, somehow.

One of the most difficult, yet disciplined practices I have mastered is stepping inside of and resting in that pause.

I have pursued hobbies in movement, mindfulness, and artistry. I have read good books, reconnected with old friends, have put down new roots, and dug up rotten ones. I have sat with the discomfort of letting my life slow down. I have entered a state of curiosity – if I can just sit here long enough, I wonder what will be on the other side? – instead of leaning into fear.

Pursuing the oncoming stages of life, which all happen through me, I find myself no longer trying to fit into a mold. Instead, I am stepping, always one foot in front of the next, into alignment. I always find my footing this way. I am more interested in learning how to build something meaningful, something I can share but also call my own, instead of something that looks nice but can be torn down in a matter of days.

I value focus, flow, and creativity, as well as people that devote themselves to these pillars. I value those environments that respect the pause – and can learn from it. I find discipline and vulnerability attractive and necessary. The best things in life often demand both, and more.

I am finding the power in the pause, and learning how to harness the momentum that comes from the rest, regathering, and the intention of inertia. I am done proving to others that I can and must belong everywhere.

I am thankful for all the rejection and redirection that has landed me here. What an honor it is to now have every opportunity to create something that is so genuinely and purely my own. What a blessing to start from scratch, knowing I can only go up from here.